By author and consultant Liz Jazwiec
Just My E-Pinion
For many, the workplace is where kindness goes to die. But author and consultant Liz Jazwiec says it just shouldn’t be that way. She suggests using Valentine’s Day as an excuse to infuse some kindness into your day job. And she says you just might l-o-v-e the results.
It’s that time of year again—when hearts become the decoration of choice and there seems to be pink and red everywhere you turn. The time of year when heart-shaped candy abounds, and we are all encouraged to show some love to those we love—our spouse, significant other, secret crush, family members, and co-workers.
Wait. Even our co-workers? Yes. The one group we often neglect to show much love to could use a dose in these hard times, and Valentine’s Day provides the perfect opportunity to spread some kindness around the workplace.
Maybe it’s because of those tiny little cards we used to hand out at school, but I always think of my co-workers on Valentine’s Day. Obviously it’s great to show love to your sweetie, kids, family, and friends, but infusing some kindness where we spend much of our time—work—can go a long way.
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Unfortunately, at a time when many are worried about doing everything they can to keep their jobs, the general mood at many workplaces is pretty somber. Kindness can make our work a little easier, the days go just a little faster, and everything seems just a little bit better.
It’s crazy to think just how unkind we can be to our co-workers. After all, if you are all working in the same place, even if you might be in different departments, you are essentially on the same team. You are all working toward the same goals. The in-fighting and general nastiness or indifference for one another that can pop up in workplaces affects everyone negatively. It breaks us down as individuals and as teams. It is impossible to think that our lack of kindness doesn’t affect the work environment. The reason most people leave jobs is either because of their boss or their co-workers. Trust me—kindness can make a difference with team members.
If kindness is lacking at your workplace, here are a few simple ways you can start a kindness revolution at your organization:
Lead by example. If you are the leader at your organization, you need to heed the call. Tell your team that you are making kindness a focus. Pledge to be kind to everyone you encounter, from vendors to clients to colleagues. Give them permission to call you on it when you forget that pledge. Note that if a lack of kindness has been a problem at your organization for a while, you might have to slowly introduce the practice. After all, you wouldn’t want your co-workers to walk in one day and think that you’ve been brainwashed. Try one kindness initiative at a time—for example, regularly saying thank you or offering to help a co-worker at least once a day—and see if you can get the kindness bug to spread.
Put an end to petty criticism. Boy, are we tough on each other! We criticize just about everybody and everything. We talk about one another’s hair, clothes, and cars. We scrutinize every little word and laugh at each other’s mistakes. Isn’t it time we give each other a break? I think too many of us slip into negativity as a default behavior at work. We hear others being negative so we join in to stay out of the crossfire. We all need to remind ourselves to stay out of that negativity and instead be kind, nice, and thoughtful.
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Welcome new employees with open arms. Often it’s the new person who gets the most abuse at work. It’s interesting that organizations can be short-staffed with everyone putting in extra time and effort, just praying the boss hires someone to lessen the burden, and then when the new person does start, he or she is welcomed with less-than-open arms. What’s up with that? Try to remember what it was like on your first day. Then extend a little kindness the new person’s way. Ask about interests or work background. Try to find things that he or she has in common with other team members. Sharing common experiences is a great way to bring someone into the fold.
Recognize one another’s strengths, not weaknesses. In many workplaces, kindness goes out the door when younger and older employees must work together. Young employees get frustrated when their older colleagues can’t use the latest technology quickly and efficiently. And older workers become frustrated with their younger counterparts’ different work habits. The problem is that the parties on both sides of the age gap are focusing on what they view as the other’s weakness. Leaders should encourage all employees to value what their teammates bring to the table. Remind everyone that there is a reason each of them was hired.
Be nice to the "others." Many organizations suffer from intra-office turf wars. What results is departmental teams that are sometimes outright nasty to one another—the Sales team can’t stand Purchasing. Purchasing can’t stand the Warehouse. No one gets along with IT, and on and on.
Teams seem to think that anyone not working in their department is sitting in their office, feet up on the desk, playing computer solitaire. It’s hard to work well together when you have such negative views of the other party’s work habits. But the reality is everybody works hard. Try a little kindness with the people who work in other divisions. You might be surprised how it actually makes things better for you.
My dad gave my sister the best marriage advice when he reminded her on her wedding day, "Be kind to each other." I think it is the best relationship advice ever spoken.
Kindness is not difficult. It doesn’t require any money, any training, any real effort, and you can start right away, either individually or as a team. That is the beauty of it! We spend around 2,000 hours a year with our co-workers. Given how much time we spend with them, a little bit of kindness can really go a long way. By committing ourselves to kindness, starting today, we can really make a difference where we work. So this Valentine’s Day, be kind!
Liz Jazwiec is author of the new book Eat That Cookie!: Make Workplace Positivity Pay Off…For Individuals, Teams and Organizations (Fire Starter Publishing, 2009). Jazwiec is a nationally renowned speaker, strategist, and consultant who has shared her passion for leadership, engagement, and service with audiences across the country.