Workplace conflict disrupts morale and performance, and affects everyone in the organization. Here are some tips to referee these matches to a peaceful conclusion.
Jo and Lee have never really liked each other, but these days, their conflict is the scandal of the office. People go out of their way to not have the two in the same meeting, even though both should attend. Others bait the two like spectators at a wrestling match, hoping for a blowup. And there’s even a joke that Las Vegas bookies are putting odds on who would win in a nationally broadcast Friday night smack-down.
What’s more significant is what’s not happening … effective teamwork. The Jo-Lee thing is seriously interrupting office communication, morale, and productivity.
If you’ve got a “Jo-Lee Thing” in your workplace, you’re far from alone. According to three studies reported on by Dr. Tony Fiore at businessknowhow.com, management spends from 24 percent to 60 percent of its time dealing with workplace conflict. Is there any way to stop a war between workers after it’s begun?
Here’s the experts’ consensus playbook for all you workplace referees:
—First, bring the conflicting parties together. Never meet with them alone, as this will immediately be seen as taking sides.
—Let each tell his or her side, without interruption. Grievances need to be aired before they can be resolved. And allowing interruptions will again be seen as taking sides.
—Identify the true motivation behind the conflict. The antagonists will bring up every slight and perceived slight that’s ever happened in their relationship, but you need to ask yourself: “what’s really holding up the show here? What’s really at the heart of this disagreement?”
—Realize that even in conflict, there is the seed of compromise. No one really likes living under hostile conditions. If you can find common ground between the parties, there will be a predisposition to settle the matter. But it may take a lot of time, talk, and patience.
—Ask each party to identify actions that the other could take to resolve the conflict. If the parties identify their desired outcomes in a hostile way, restate their positions in a more positive manner. “Edit their script,” says professional mediator Jeffrey Krivis, author of the 2006 reference on the topic, Improvisational Negotiation, “literally [give] them words to see their options.” Then draft (orally or on paper) what the parties agree to do.
—Don’t resolve the conflict too quickly, Krivis also suggests. A quick settlement often leads to doubts by the parties about the outcome, and a feeling that “someone’s pulled the wool over my eyes.”
—Use managerial power to promote a settlement. Tell the parties that you expect them to work this out, but that if this disruption continues, disciplinary action will be taken against both sides.
—Set a follow-up meeting to monitor progress on the agreement.
And finally, realize two important things:
Workplace conflicts almost never resolve themselves, they only get worse. And some conflicts can never be resolved. The best you can do is separate the parties within the organization … or from the organization.
What instances of workplace conflict have you run into? Were they resolved? And if so, how? Use the Share Your Comments button and let us know.
I have worked in a office where another co-worker’s hostility was never confronted by the supervisor. The whole office felt bothered about the situation, and of the supervisor seemingly being afraid to speak up and do anything. The hostility consisted of punching the supervisor’s office door when upset, not listening and talking loudly to the supervisor, showing an elbow gesture to another employee, slamming paper work and books around to name a few. I am no longer in that office, but the other girls are. The problem is still the same. Why no one complained to someone above the supervisor, I don’t know. While I was there, I complained, but to deaf ears as nothing was ever done. The employee is still there!