Oswald Letter

A Matter of Trust

The other day, I was faced with a situation where things were not progressing as I had hoped. My frustration led me to have a conversation with a colleague. I shared my dilemma with him and asked what he thought the key was to resuming progress. His response was, “You need to build trust. Obviously the person you’re dealing with doesn’t trust you enough to feel comfortable committing to what you’re asking.”

That conversation got me thinking about trust. It’s the critical element to every successful relationship. This is demonstrated clearly in the military. Soldiers put their lives on the line and need to trust the other members of their platoon implicitly. If they don’t have a high level of trust among the members of the platoon, the mission will be jeopardized and, possibly, lives will be lost.

But trust isn’t just important in life-or-death situations. For a family to operate most effectively, the family members must trust one another. In team sports, squad members must trust that their teammates will each do their jobs for the unit to be successful. The same is true at work. People must trust that their boss and coworkers are capable, competent professionals who will do their part for the team to function successfully.

I once worked for an incredibly talented individual. He was smart, very creative, and full of energy. He was a tremendous communicator who could really get people excited about their work. Yet he had one big flaw — people didn’t trust him, and it made it really hard for him to be effective as a leader and for the team to be successful.

I’ve often thought about why it was that people didn’t trust him because he was a generally good person who wanted the business to succeed. I’ve come to the conclusion that he was far too inconsistent for people to truly trust him. The people who worked for him and with him didn’t know how he’d react to any given situation because there were no consistencies in his actions. He might react to a certain situation one way today and turn around and react in a completely different way tomorrow. He was unpredictable and that represented risk to those around him. That lack of consistency caused people not to trust him.

It seems to me that to be a truly successful leader you need to develop trust with those you work with.  Here’s what I think it takes to build trust at work:

T is for tell ’em. Tell the people you work with what you’re going to do and then do it. Tell them what you expect of them. Tell them when they do well and when they don’t. Tell them what to expect from you and then deliver on it. There’s no doubt that your words need to be backed up with actions, but it starts with words. Communicating consistently with your people helps to develop trust.

R is for respect. You need to treat people with respect if you expect them to trust you. This is something even your average household pet has figured out. A dog that gets beaten every time it misbehaves may fear its owner but it doesn’t respect him. For a long time, there has been a debate about whether, as a leader, it’s better to be loved or feared. I’d argue that it’s best to be respected. And to get respect you need to give it as well.

U is for understand. You need to understand each person on your team as an individual if you expect them to trust you. As a leader, you can’t treat every person the same and expect them all to perform well. You need to understand what drives them, what they fear, and what they desire. You need to understand who they are at their core. When people realize that you really know them and what is important to them, they will begin to trust you.

S is for steady. You need to be consistent. You need to be reliable. You need to be steady if you want to gain the trust of the people on your team. They need to know where you will stand and how you will react in certain situations. Your consistency will give them comfort. They may know that you’re going to be displeased and they’re going to be disciplined, but knowing helps them manage it. It’s the fear of the unknown that paralyzes people, keeping them from acting.

T is for truthful. If you want to gain people’s trust, you must be truthful. Lie to them, mislead them, even tell them a half-truth, and you will lose their trust. It’s true what they say — it takes time to build trust but only a second to lose it. If you want to gain trust, be honest.

Building trust with those around you is critical for any leader. Make building trust with your people a key goal in 2011. Look for ways in which you can increase the level of trust with your team and it will lead to new degrees of success.

5 thoughts on “A Matter of Trust”

  1. Hi Dan,
    You did it again… Excellent article!!
    As I mentioned several months ago I thoroughly enjoy your weekly articles on various topics.
    If I may take some liberty and add to your article ….
    My philosophy on the “Trust” issue is basically simple….
    I trust people because I trust myself first…. I have to be truthful, honest, consistent, respectful etc. to myself first in order to exhibit those characteristics.
    NOW, for the twist…. I trust you…. give me a reason not to trust you…..
    This approach is so different than the current thinking in both business and personal issues.
    The values and principles that I bring to the table is uncompromising…
    I do not compromise must personal and professional values and principles…
    I do not manage people… I lead both individuals and groups ….
    I do manage money and things but not humans…
    As a leader in my profession of Pharmacy, I must exhibit continuity in all I do…
    There must be a creativity in many of my thoughts and words, and ask for individuals to participate in the issue(s) that need addressing.
    I do mange change but not the people involved in the change…. when you empower individuals they take on a proactive approach so that you as a leader just monitor the changes…. I participate in the activity by sharing my experiences but do not state “this is how it should be done”…. not good for public relations internally.
    In my communications I try very hard (even ask if everyone understands me) to have clarity in what the situation is and what is/are the issues.
    There are a couple of other principles that must be exhibited as conviction and character in the leader…. you cannot get away with anything if you do not have the “guts” to do it and the stamina to see it to fruition.
    Lastly, you, as a leader, are being watched every day (24/7/365) as to how you react to “Crisis” … how do you react to it, what are your beliefs and actions, etc…..
    With the horrific and despicable acts of one individual, which we have witnessed this past weekend, I sit and watch some politicians and elected officials make fools out of themselves because they lack “Objective Crisis Management Behavior” ….. How sad…..
    May God Bless all those that have been through this horrendous episode in America.
    Thanks for listening…
    Lou Aliota

  2. ‘S’ is for steady.

    I knew a manager that was the model of consistency and steadiness.
    I wonder who that was?

    Hey Dan, great column. Really enjoy reading your posts.

  3. Lou,

    Thanks for sharing your philosophy on trust. I think your point that it all begins with trusting yourself is a good one. And I share your approach that you trust people until they give you a reason not to trust them. It makes me happier to think that way!

    I also heard from a friend who had read my piece on trust who reminded me that candor is also an important part of honest communication and building trust. Sometimes that being honest means delivering news that people don’t necessarily want to hear. I thought it was a good point.

    Anyway, thanks for sharing,

    Dan

  4. Mark,

    Good to hear from you. I appreciate you taking the time to read my posts. Maybe you should consider contributing. I’m sure those who read the blog would appreciate your insights and talent.

    Dan

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