That's What She Said

Rocking around The Office tree

Litigation Value: the cost of a new iPod for your office Secret Santa = considerably less now than in Season 2 (depending on the model); potential liability for Scranton holiday antics over the last nine seasons = an obscene amount; the countless hilarious and heart-warming moments of The Office Christmas episodes = priceless.

As we are wrapping up our gift shopping, putting the finishing touches on our festive decorations, and whipping up some tasty holiday treats, I thought now was a good time to look back on some favorites from the many delightful moments The Office has given us in its Christmas episodes over the years.   

1. Teapot Fiasco. Oh, to think what might have happened if Jim’s teapot filled with inside jokes and a declaration of love for his Secret Santa, Pam, had landed in the wrong hands (or up Dwight’s nose) in Season 2. It’s a good thing Pam opted to exchange the iPod for Jim’s more thoughtful gift. And the rest, as they say, is history.

2. Girlfriend Confusion. What could possibly go wrong when you mix a lovesick, recently dumped Michael Scott with alcohol and several female servers from Benihana’s? At least one lucky lady got to leave with a free (though gently used) bicycle and only a little black marker on her arm for her trouble.

3. Snowman Brigade. After years of watching Jim best Dwight in office pranks, it was refreshing to see Dwight get a little revenge in Season 7. The ominous army of snowmen waiting for Jim outside the office was fantastic. Dwight sure knows how to win a snowball fight and potentially scar Jim for life.

4. Santa Stand-Off. I had no idea that Michael was so attached to the idea of playing Santa until Phyllis threw her red hat into the ring in Season 6. The result–two competing Santas and one uncertain Kevin just trying to tell a jolly old elf his Christmas wishes. At least he didn’t have a horde of birds to deal with like Erin. Nice try, Andy, but the 12 days of Christmas wasn’t exactly the wisest gift.

5. Half Girl, Half Unicorn. Naturally, Dwight would turn Christmas into an opportunity to acquire power and punish last-minute shoppers. Consider his scheme to buy up the most popular children’s gift of the holiday season–what appeared to be a bizarre hybrid of My Little Pony and Barbie whose “horn can pierce the sky!” Despite Dwight’s outrageously high prices for this “genetically improbable” gift, Darryl and Toby couldn’t get enough.     

Whether it’s Meredith’s hair catching fire or Dwight dressing as Belsnickel, The Office has always made me smile at this time of year. Wishing you all a very happy holiday season free of dueling Santas, hair-stealing French hens, and “whorish” green streamers.