HR Strange But True

You Have Nobody to Blame, but Yourself … or Your Dentist or Hairstylist …

Does your company or organization drug test new hires as part of the employment process? Or better yet, does your company conduct random drug testing throughout the employment relationship? If so, you may have encountered some oddball excuses for failed drug tests!

HireRight, an employment screening provider, has compiled a list of its top 10 creative excuses for failed drug tests. And some of them will leave you scratching your head and wondering, “hopefully no one fell for these!”

  1. “I was at a party over the weekend—can I retest later?”
  2. “I didn’t know the brownies I ate were laced with pot!”
  3. “I took some elephant tranquilizers. I didn’t know they would show up.”
  4. “It must have been the tea that my wife gave me last night.”
  5. “My dentist gave me cocaine for my sore tooth.”
  6. “It must have been the donuts that kid gave me on the bus on the way to orientation.”
  7. “I was at my girlfriend’s best friend’s house and she gave me a cup of coffee. Because she does not like me, she laced it with Meth; that is why I failed.”
  8. The applicant said he had been eating poppy seed muffins . . . however, he tested positive for marijuana.
  9. “My hair dresser is a cocaine addict. My hair must have absorbed it from her hands.”
  10. “From fumes while making soap.”

While making soap seems like a commendable hobby, what sort of soap was this person making? Because there are drug tests, there will always be creative excuses for why people fail them. Now that marijuana is legal for recreational use in four states, plus Washington D.C., we expect the frequency of failed drug tests to increase, in which case more creative excuses should be on the way!

What’s the craziest excuse you’ve heard for a failed drug test? Share it in our comments section below, or e-mail us, and it could be featured in the next HRSBT!

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Note: We reserve the right to edit submissions for clarity, anonymity, and so forth.

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