HR Hero Line

Tough talks for tough situations at work: How to keep calm, get success

Maybe an employee’s performance has gone downhill or someone’s prickly personality is making coworkers miserable. Or maybe a personal hygiene problem requires action. Any number of situations that land in HR’s lap can trigger the need for a difficult conversation.

No pat set of instructions exists since each situation is unique, but keeping a few principles in mind can keep a difficult conversation on track so that solutions are possible. Human resources consultant Mary Anne Kennedy of MAKHR Consulting, LLC will pass along tips for those tough talks in a March 23 Business and Legal Resources webinar titled “Difficult Conversations: How to Address Thorny HR Issues While Preserving Employees’ Dignity and Minimizing Legal Risks.”

Top tips
“The No. 1 point is to remain calm and professional,” Kennedy says. HR professionals need to make sure they don’t let their own emotions get stirred up. And it’s up to the discussion leader to stay in charge of the conversation and keep it under control at all times.

Advance preparation is also crucial, Kennedy says. The HR professional needs to gather specific details and review a draft of talking points before sitting down with the employee.

“Determine the purpose of the conversation,” Kennedy says. “If it is a behavior issue, consider what actions need to be taken and the plan to assist the employee achieve success.” She also says HR professionals need to understand that not every employee will appreciate constructive feedback. If an employee gets angry or upset, the best approach may be to stop the conversation and allow the employee some time to cool down. Then revisit the conversation the next day.

Part of planning for a discussion includes considering the need for a witness. “Have a witness if the conversation requires disciplinary action,” Kennedy says. If the talk is more of a coaching session, a witness is not as necessary, she says, “but be sure the conversation has been role-played with HR or legal.”

Documentation crucial
Documenting talks that deal with touchy subjects is especially critical since having a record of the conversation can protect the employer and the one leading the session. But it also helps keep the conversation on point, Kennedy says.

Follow-up communication is another important part of the documentation. Kennedy suggests sending the employee involved an email summarizing the discussion and noting the agreement reached on next steps. “Without documentation, it will be difficult to revisit and measure improvement and meeting expectations,” she says.

If the purpose of the conversation is to deliver a performance improvement plan, “be sure there are documented actions with a timeline for improvement to clearly outline successful results.”

Setting the tone
An important part of handling a difficult conversation is setting the stage. “Not only HR professionals but all managers of people need to be sure the setting is non-threatening,” Kennedy says. Guard against distractions such as phones and email.

“Be sure the employee is aware that the goal is for everyone to achieve success and that they will have support,” Kennedy says.

No matter the employee’s reaction, Kennedy reminds HR professionals to stay keep their cool. “Do not get angry or raise your voice,” she says. “This will change the complexion of the environment and will result in failure for everyone. Take a deep breath and remember the reason for the conversation—to assist an employee improve and be more productive.”

At a minimum, Kennedy says, the leader of the conversation should ask if the employee is enjoying his or her job. “It might be the first time someone cared enough to ask.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *