When people hear the word “consent,” they most often think of intimate relationship dynamics. An image of a college orientation or even legal guidelines to prevent harassment may be the first thing that comes to mind. But consent is so much more than that; it’s the foundation for all equitable communication.
As leaders in our workplaces, there are several ways to notice and adjust our approach when thinking about consent in a corporate environment. Here are two examples I like to use to illustrate where consent is often an issue at work:
- A supervisor says to a direct report they have a new project they need someone to take on and asks if they would be willing to do it. That’s all the context that’s given in the moment, but the employee immediately responds with a “yes.” They have no idea what the context of this project would include, the time commitment it would require, or the responsibilities, but they don’t want to look like they aren’t a team player, they don’t want to get passed over for opportunities in the future, and they don’t want to face passive aggression from the supervisor because of their reluctance or need for clarification.
- Let’s say the employee does get all the information and is assured there’s no pressure tied to the agreement. Their “yes” is informed and freely given—two of the foundational tenets of consent—but then things change. Their child is sick, they’re going through a divorce, or there’s a loss in the family. In this case, what they originally had the time and energy for has changed because of these external factors. Consent means they can always go back and change their answer to a “no.” But they’re afraid to because of the previously stated reasons.
Bringing Consent into Workplace Communication
For consent to take place in interpersonal communication, it must be enthusiastic, freely given, under clear understanding, and ongoing.
A couple of ways to incorporate affirmative consent at work include:
- Check for enthusiasm and a clear mind. If someone agrees to something but hesitates or says yes while distracted, check to see if the person really wants to do it or if they’re feeling pressure/overwhelmed. If you feel the person’s yes was burdened by unspoken fears, check in with the person later, and ask if they’d like to discuss anything in more detail before moving forward.
- Understand power imbalances and token compliance. As a supervisor or social superior (mentors, contract holders v. contractors, clients who need our help), your ask is often met with token compliance or a “yes” that’s rooted in fearing negative consequences, e.g., will they fire me/end the contract/not represent me? Remember this, and give the person in the lesser position of power time to ask lots of questions, explore alternatives, and think over what has been requested.
- Consent has to be ongoing. Just because I agree to something at one point doesn’t mean the circumstance I said yes under won’t change. I need to feel free to go back and adjust as necessary. If something you’re asking would be legally binding, make sure to be up front with what that could look like, and answer any what-if questions you can.
- Explain the potential pros and cons. A yes that’s stated under unclear assumptions isn’t a true yes. Don’t be afraid to go in depth into the potential downsides and be transparent about them. Talk about the benefits, and make sure they’re in equal measure.
The Bottom Line
Consent will never make it into our bedrooms if it’s not in our boardrooms. Consent culture requires all of us to reimagine the ways we connect with one another both verbally and nonverbally. As we weave consent into our workplace culture, we can see transformational growth as the building blocks of respect, trust, and honesty are solidified into the fabric of who we are as professionals and organizations.
Dr. Laura McGuire is a Guest Contributor at HR Daily Advisor.