HRDA is reporting from the SHRM conference in Washington, D.C. Jennifer Lee, of JB Training Solutions says that learning how to command the room might come natural to some professional women, but for others, it takes a little bit of work. In today’s Advisor, we’ll hear from Lee with tips for how women executives can make themselves better heard.
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Why shouldn’t a woman executive’s communication skills match their hard work and professional nature? Lee attempted to answer that question at this year’s SHRM conference while providing important tips for any female professional in today’s workforce.
Tangible Tips on Creating New Habits to Increase Your Executive Presence
In general, says Lee, improving your executive presence involves being aware of and improving in three major categories:
- Gravitas. This is how you carry yourself—things like a commanding posture, professional handshakes, appropriate gesturing, and body language. Lee helps women understand what they can do to develop a professional gravitas.
- Communication. Making sure that you overcome common hurdles that women encounter. From dealing with mansplaining to being interrupted, Lee gave a lot of tips about how to communicate in a way that clearly shows you know what you are talking about and are someone to whom people should be listening.
- Perception. All of the gravitas and communication skills in the world won’t help you if people perceive that you can’t be trusted. Lee shows professional women how to be believed and trusted.
Gravitas
Lee begins to talk about gravitas by referencing research that shows that 55% of a person’s ability to communicate depends on their body language. “If my body language doesn’t communicate that I am trustworthy and command respect., I have a real problem,” says Lee.
Lee notes that according to a study done by the Harvard Medical School in 2011, people judge how capable and trustworthy you are within one-quarter of a second of looking at you. With these kinds of limitations on making first impressions, it’s important that you have the tools you need to polish your overall gravitas.
Posture. Lee says, “Your body is present, so sit up straight, put your shoulders back, and take up some space.” Doing so makes you feel more confident, and that confidence is outwardly expressed. Lee states that your posture is essential. Try to remember these tips:
- Your shoulders should be back.
- Your feet should be square with your shoulders.
- Don’t cross your feet or your legs.
- Don’t hunch over.
- Don’t lean back; lean forward.
- Gesture even if you are sitting.
- Consider putting your hands behind your head, on your hips, or your hands straight on the desk.
It’s a lot to practice, and you might not feel as confident as these tips make you look. But remember, says Lee, “you can fake it until you are it.”
Handshakes. Lee says that it is important for your handshake to be firm, but she also says “don’t crush their bones.” Find a middle ground, and if you are not sure, practice with a good friend who will be honest with you.
Body language. Lee says, “People that are confident stand in one place.” In other words, don’t be jittery. Try not to play with your pen, twirl your hair, or sway. When you are standing, even if your feet hurt, try not to “dance.” Lee added one final note: “Do not cross your legs, it makes you look like you have to use the bathroom.”
Unintentionally appearing upset, angry, or irritated. Lee suggests you ask your good friends if you regularly look upset, angry, or irritated even when they know that you are not. Lee states that some people say, “Listen, that’s just my face,” but you can take steps to make it look like you love your job and, more importantly, that you want to move up.
Gesturing. According to Lee, if you don’t know what to do with your hands, there is a simple solution—it involves moving a small box around. Imagine that you have a small box in your hands. Now gesture as though you are putting that box on a shelf, taking it down from a shelf, moving it to the right, moving it to the left, opening the box, or closing the box. Lee says, “These are all acceptable hand gestures in a professional setting.”
Eye contact. Lee suggests that using eye contact is simple. When addressing a crowd, don’t stare over all of their heads. Scan the audience and make eye contact as you go. Also, don’t stare people down, and don’t just talk to the decision maker.
Gender bias. Lee says that you are probably already aware of the gender biases you have to deal with in the workplace. The kinds of attributes given to men, according to Lee, are often considered to be negative attributes in women. She lists the following as examples of names that women in the workplace are often called, which would never be attributed to a man: emotional, soft, drama queen, bossy, timid, judgmental, abrasive, irrational, and aggressive. Lee states, “We never see this about a man … no one ever expects a man to be the kind of person who would love your children.” She admits it’s a fine line that the professional woman has to walk. Her advice: be aggressive enough to be heard, but not overly aggressive.
Communication
Lee makes two important introductory statements about communication. First, your words are crucially important. Second, authority is everything. “You have to believe what you are talking about; it leaps out in your non-verbals if you do not believe it,” says Lee. Following are a series of tips on how to be commanding when you speak.
Upspeak. Lee defines “upspeak” as ending every sentence as though it were a question. Upspeak undermines your authority, and doesn’t help your presence.
Pitch. Lee notes that, unfortunately, when women have a higher pitched voice, they are not taken as seriously. She suggests working on your voice over time to lower your pitch. There is a great example in Margaret Thatcher, who worked over time to lower her pitch. You can watch videos of before and after online, and see for yourself how her lowered pitch drastically changes the power of her command.
Pausing. “Most people can handle a 3 second pause,” says Lee. Try working them into your communication; it gives people time to absorb what you are saying. The better they absorb the information, the more useful your communication is. Lee also suggests giving people 7 seconds of time whenever you ask them if they have any questions. “You want people to ask questions because you want to show them that you are confident,” says Lee.
We didn’t have enough room to include all of Lee’s great ideas. If you want to learn more, please check them out here.
Tomorrow, we’ll hear more from Lee on the role that perception plays in executive presence.