Today’s article represents an expansion of content from two HRDA articles. In those articles, we heard from Jennifer Lee, an expert on executive presence for women. You can check out those articles here and here.
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More Tips on Gravitas
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Personal presentation. Lee acknowledges that when it comes to personal appearance, there are “so many things you have to get right before you go through a door.” Lee says you must ask yourself how do you make sure that you hit the right mark when it comes to attire? The only thing for sure is that your attire must match your environment.
Another aspect of personal presentation involves the way that you handle bad news, which makes a big impact on the people around you. Lee notes that if you are in charge of people and must deliver bad news:
From a non-verbal perspective, if your response is devastating, people are not going to believe that you are going to be able to get past it, or that you are the best person for the job. If you feel like you are going to lose it, take a few deep breathes, then take a walk, get some coffee. It’s better than staying there and having a bad non-verbal response.
Getting interrupted. Lee introduces the concept of mansplaining. Lee states that mansplaining is when “a man explains something to a woman in a condescending way.” She notes that this is a real obstacle for women in the workplace. Mansplaining accounts for the fact that when women are talking, they are much more likely to be interrupted than a man. Lee notes that “75% of men dominate decision making conversations.” How can the professional women survive this environment? Lee has some ideas.
First, bring a buddy for backup. That way if one of you is interrupted, the other can assert, “I’d really like to hear what she has to say.” Also, Lee says that you should lean in and be alert when you are interrupted. She says that your body language can’t say that being interrupted is OK. After you lean in, say, “Thank you so much, please let me finish. I really want you to hear the rest of what I have to say.” It may take some practice to get the courage to do this, but Lee insists that if you do not assert yourself, you won’t be taken seriously.
Being misunderstood. Sometimes, says Lee, when you are in a meeting, people might assume that they are on the same page as you. “Do not let it happen,” says Lee. If you need to clarify after the meeting, then do so. If possible, try to do it in the meeting.
Part of avoiding being misunderstood involves remaining well focused. Lee says, “Don’t let people take you down a tangent, because whatever you came in wanting to propose has now been sidelined … you have to keep laser focus until your voice is heard.”
Lee has another tip for making sure that you are understood. Get to the meeting early so that you are literally at the table where the decisions are being made. Come late, and you might find yourself in that second row, a position unlikely to communicate your presence.
More Communication Tips
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Fillers. We all have them. Whether it’s “ummm,” “like,” or “uh,” they are a part of normal speech, unless they are used too much. As Lee puts it, “People have them, but the problem is when your filler becomes so distracting that people are counting them instead of listening.” According to Lee, it takes 45 days to get rid of a filler, but it’s one habit that is worth breaking because it distracts, and it can make you sound less than knowledgeable. This is another thing you can learn about from a good, honest friend.
Listening. Listening seems like a no-brainer for absorbing information. Lee also notes that you can indicate that you are listening with a nod and by reacting visually. She says, “If you know that have been heard, you have already developed a partnership.”
Enthusiasm. Lee asks, “Who wants to listen to someone who isn’t enthusiastic?” Lee cautions that just because it’s business does not mean it has to be boring. One way to seem more enthusiastic involves how you conduct presentations. Essentially, Lee cautions you to use less than 10 words on a slide, and don’t clutch a handful of notes. “Those that present with fewer notes behind them and no notes in their hand tend to be more convincing and make more eye contact than those with notes in their shaky hands,” says Lee. She goes on to say to just trust yourself; this is information you know.
More Tips on Perception
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Oversharing. We all are familiar with the concept of too much information. If you feel uncomfortable when someone else overshares, they probably feel the same way when you do. It’s most likely place of occurrence, according to Lee, is on Facebook or through other social media. Lee asks, “If you googled your name right now, do you know what would pop up, and are you okay with it? Does it make you credible?” She cautions to be careful about what you put out there, as oversharing can easily backfire and make you look unprofessional.
Welcome feedback. Lee suggests that hearing feedback can be difficult, especially if you are suspicious of the motivations of the source of that feedback. However, she reminds us that even if a person has ulterior motivations for giving you certain kinds of feedback, the feedback itself could still help you refine your professionalism. She also says, “Give feedback too. First say that you want them to do the best in their job, then give the feedback.” If you give good feedback, you just might receive good feedback as well.
Be well read. Lee says that being well read can help you connect with clients about contemporary issues that might affect their business. She says, “It can be extremely helpful, and it can make you seem helpful.”