The other night, I got a thoughtful, heartfelt message from a colleague reminding me and others to take time to tell our loved ones exactly how we feel about them. You see, days earlier, his mother had suffered a stroke, and he had spent the time since at her bedside. His message was that we never know how much time we will have with anyone in our lives and that we should take full advantage of the time we do have.
My father passed away suddenly at the young age of 56. I learned the hard way exactly what my friend was reminding me of now. A lot has happened in the 18 years since my father died, and that tough-learned lesson has gotten lost at times. I know on many occasions I’ve lost sight of the real priorities in my life and have not focused on what’s most important to me. It’s just sad it takes a tragedy to snap us back to reality.
So my message today is to take stock of your priorities. Write down what is most important to you. Then make time for those things you prize the most. Stephen Covey once said, “The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” So once you’ve committed your priorities to writing, schedule time for each and every one.
Lately, my wife has been riding me about my health. Even though I don’t like to hear it, I know she does it because she cares. (Either that or she doesn’t think I have enough life insurance and needs me to rectify that before she’s ready for me to depart!) I need to get back into a more regular exercise routine. To my point above, I need to make a priority, and that needs to be reflected in my schedule. I can give you a thousand reasons why I can’t exercise, but if it’s truly important, I will find the time.
Senator Paul Tsongas once related what a friend wrote to him when the senator decided not to run for reelection after being diagnosed with cancer: “No man ever said on his deathbed, ‘I wish I had spent more time in the office.'”
I’m certain Senator Tsongas’ friend was correct. You don’t want to look back on your life with regrets. We often find ourselves caught up in the grind that is our daily lives, going through the motions, when suddenly something jars us back to reality. Maybe it’s a traumatic event like my friend faced with his mother that reminds us of our priorities. But if you make it all the way to your deathbed before you reflect on your priorities, you will have missed what living is all about.
I spoke to a woman recently who was considering relocating to Nashville, where I live. A mutual friend had suggested she call me to learn more about the area. It struck me that she currently spends 5 hours each day commuting. Five hours! That’s valuable time that could be spent on the things most important to her–whatever they are.
Her comment about her commute reminded me of my time in Chicago when, for nearly a decade, I spent 3 hours round trip each day on my commute. My commuting time pales in comparison to hers, but it was still 3 hours each day I didn’t have for other things that were important to me.
I told her what a blessing it was to recapture the majority of that commuting time when I moved to Nashville 9 years ago. Suddenly, I could be present at parent-teacher conferences, coach my kids’ sports teams, and be home for dinner at a reasonable hour. And best of all, the grind of the long commute was no longer sapping me of energy that otherwise could have gone to my family.
Work is an important part of our lives. From it, we receive purpose and the financial means to support ourselves. But there is more to life than work. It’s your job to make time for those other things in your life–whatever they may be. Take the time right now to list your priorities, and then make time for them. Put them on your calendar, and stick with your commitment to them. You’ll be glad that you did.
No truer words were ever spoken. We don’t know the day or the hour when time’s up for a loved one or ourselves. Cherish your moments with the ones you care about, don’t be caught wishing for one more day to tell them how you feel.