by Dan Oswald
Over the weekend, I watched a movie with my wife. I won’t say which movie because my guy friends will make fun of me. But in my defense, this past weekend included Valentine’s Day. Anyway, the movie talked a lot about fate and destiny and got me thinking about how much of what happens to us is within our control.
According to Webster’s, fate is “a power that is believed to control what happens in the future; the things that will happen to a person or thing; the future that someone or something will have.”
Franklin Delano Roosevelt once said, “Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.” This leads me to conclude that our 32nd president didn’t really believe in fate but believed that each of us has the ability to achieve whatever we can imagine. But others who reached tremendous levels of success felt differently about fate than FDR. Napoleon Bonaparte said this about fate: “There is no such thing as accident; it is fate misnamed.” So which is it? Does fate exist, or is it something we’ve created to explain things that otherwise can’t be explained?
People of faith would say our fate or destiny is controlled by God. That is the “power” referred to in Webster’s. And I subscribe to this belief, but I also think there is more to it than just that. We as individuals control a lot of what happens to us each and every day—and to deny that can become a convenient excuse every time something doesn’t go our way. We can point to fate as the reason for everything bad that happens in our lives instead of taking responsibility for what we’ve done to cause it.
You don’t get the promotion you were hoping for. It’s fate, not that you weren’t as deserving as another. The project you lead turns out to be a failure. It’s fate, not that mistakes were made or the premise was flawed. We can’t continually take credit for everything good and right that happens to us but somehow abstain from all responsibility when things don’t go our way.
I tend to lean closer to what FDR said than what Napoleon said. We first must believe in what is possible for us to achieve before it can happen. Good things don’t just happen; people put themselves in a position for good things to happen to them. Each of us has unique talents. Those talents, if employed properly, will allow us to be successful in life. But to do so requires something of us. We must put our talents to work in an area that will allow us to succeed. I’m sure we all can name some extremely talented people who weren’t successful. It could be that they were just plain lazy or that they didn’t understand what talents they possessed. Maybe they didn’t know what to do with their talents. Whatever the case, their talents were wasted.
But if we believe what Napoleon said, then accidents aren’t something we caused because we were careless or moving too fast—accidents are just fate. I don’t buy it. When I rear-end the car in front of me on the interstate, that’s fate? It had nothing to do with the fact that I was driving too fast or following too close? How convenient! I’m no longer responsible for my actions because it was fate that caused me to run into that car.
Do I believe there is a power greater than I that causes or allows things to happen? Yes. But I also believe a great deal of what happens to us each day is a result of our own actions. And I believe we have the power to determine how to best use the talents we have to do the most good for others. We have enough control to be responsible for what we achieve in life. It’s not fate that determines what happens to us each day—it’s how we choose to act. Sure, there are things that are outside our control, but we should focus on things that are within it and do the most with them each and every day.
You are absolutely right. I just made a comment to a FB frirnd who works at a my former employer and told her of my firing and instead of taking responsibility of my firing I brushed it off and saud that it just wasn’t meant to be. In others words that it was fate. After reading your article I clearly realized that it was my own mistakes and actions that caused me to loose my job which I liked a lot. I did learn from those mistakes and I am disappointed that after all these years I could make a comment such as I did knowing it was my fault and not fate at all. So thank you for your article for o will not use the word fate again to excuse my actions. This actually changed a lot of things for me. I have lived my whole life useing fate as an excuse for a lot of things. It’s time I take responsibility. Ty
I totally agree with you. My belief is that God is there to help us through any situation, but He expects us to help ourselves to the best of our ability. He gave us that example when He lived on this earth as documented in the Bible.
Dan,
I’ll cover a lot of ground here and say I pretty much line up with what you say on a lot of topics, ranging from fate, faith, Ronald Reagan, and Truett Cathy, to the Green Bay Packers. Thanks for your thoughtful thoughts.
Have you read Mere Christianity?
Two thumbs up!
Thanks.
Well stated. Often we dismiss things out of hand to save our own or others feelings in an emotional situation. If we seek to first learn what our personal responsibility is for a given situation, we are better able to learn and grow moving forward. Blamism is a disease rampant in our world, and it’s easy to see the speck in someone else’s eye….
This is spot on! I could not agree more and add that life is full of choices. The choices we make determine the path that we follow. The path can be easy or hard but you have a choice. When making that choice you need to look at all of the facts and pay attention to your emotions.
i agree with your article. I am a member of the Waganukising Odawa in Northern Lower Michigan. In our old way of looking at things we had guiding principle called “Balance”. You were taught to believe that everything you did would result in what came later. There is a balance that all should try to achieve between the good and the bad. One is not always good nor is one always bad. The best leaders are always those that keep their balance as far to the good as they can. You can see what happens to folks by the balance they are maintaining. You can also see that inside yourself if you really want to look at it. Thanks for the articles; keep them coming.
Cheryl,
I have not read it, but now I’ll have to take a look. Thanks for the suggestion.
Dan
Dick,
As long as we see eye-to-eye on the Packers everything else is right in the world!
Dan
Mary,
I’m sorry to hear that you lost your job, but it’s also encouraging to hear you take responsibility for your part in it. So often we want to blame others when deep down we know that we played a role in the outcome. It takes courage for you to be so honest with yourself.
Best of luck,
Dan
Lewis,
Thanks for sharing. The idea of balance is interesting to me. If you read this week’s post you’ll hear a story about a person who was out of balance and it cost him a job opportunity.
Dan