by Vanessa L. Goddard
‘Twas the month of December, we’re early this year,
To plan against surprises as Christmas draws near.
In the past HR handled parties and drinking.
“What could possibly happen?” you might be thinking.
Our vets have come home this year—to their positions.
We’ve worked with our employees’ many transitions.
Taken care of the disabled; those on workers’ comp.
Times should be joyful, happy. We’re ready to romp!
We all know holiday fun has its ups and downs.
We are ready to face it—all smiles and no frowns.
We’ve trained up on policies that might be broken,
Spreading word covering things done, sent, or spoken.
The mistletoe’s been hidden; we’ll never tell where.
And the only Christmas goose will not cause a scare.
No pinching, no grabbing, nay! No Xeroxed rear end.
Any form of harassment this way will not wend.
No unwanted touching.
No offensive parlays.
Just good friends having fun,
Through the holidays.
Good cheer in the office.
Good cheer in the hall.
Now we say, Holiday!
Good times for all!
“But what of Facebook?” you say. “Got a rule for that?”
Social media mayhem? We’ve got that down pat.
E-mails, tweets, comments, and “likes” may be viewed elsewhere.
So when posting and texting, you’ve got to take care.
NLRB, we’ve listened. We’ve read all the news.
Our policies don’t stifle our employees’ views.
On wages and conditions, they can have their say.
But bullying and violence, that is not our way.
Our star—how it twinkles on a tree so merry.
And gifts from our clients of chocolate and berry.
Oh, how this good cheer will go straight to our waists.
But that’s wellness’s problem to handle posthaste.
The gag gift exchanges, the pot lucks, the games.
Do all in good conscience; we’re taking down names.
And when Santa comes to spread holiday cheer,
Remember others hold different traditions near.
The holiday party arrives with a bang.
The HR department feels a nervous pang.
When the festivities start, a sigh of relief
Can be heard round the office like bells on a wreath.
The spirit of the season, the love in our hearts,
Bring all peoples together ‘fore the new year starts.
It’s OK to have fun at work, never fear.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good year!
Vanessa L. Goddard is an attorney with Steptoe & Johnson PLLC in Morgantown. You can reach her at vanessa.goddard@steptoe-johnson.com.
This is great. Thanks! Happy Holidays.