That's What She Said


With just two weeks to go until the new season begins, I wanted to make sure we give proper attention to another potential candidate for Michael’s position (once Robert California vacates it and proceeds to rule the Company and then the world) — Kelly Kapoor. She has gone through a number of transformations since slapping Michael in “Diversity Training.” Has the minority executive training program helped Kelly to become a rising star? Gabe certainly learned his lesson when he failed to take Kelly seriously as a candidate. In case Kelly does indeed fill Michael’s large shoes, here is my top 10 list of things our friends at The Office should keep in mind.

1.  You better hope you raised your hand for Kelly when asked whose side you were on in the Kelly/Ryan divorce drama.

2.  If you did not, Kelly likes (and may possibly be bribed with) Beyonce, pink (the color), Pink (the singer), basically anything that is awesome, hot dogs, and snow cones.

3.  Get used to hearing the word “awesome” every few seconds. I don’t see Kelly finding a new favorite word any time soon.

4.  If you are in need of any celebrity gossip, just ask Kelly how she is doing.

5.  In Kelly’s words, “ultimatums are key.  Basically nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.”

6.  Kelly has not been such a big fan of casual day since she discovered Meredith using it as an excuse to not wear panties.

7.  If you have an upset caller, definitely let Kelly handle it. She is great at soothing angry customers, though she may choose to do so while using a fake Bridget Jones accent.

8.  You do not want Kelly on your office ping-pong team. However, she is an excellent trash-talker.

9.  Kelly will always have the best Halloween costume. If you are at a loss for costume (or any fashion) ideas, talk to Kelly. She is always game for an impromptu fashion show.

10.  No, Kelly does not want any of your “googi googi.” Do not even ask her about it unless you want a Kelly-size hand print on your face.

Given Kelly’s history of emotional outbursts, office romances (including Darryl, Ryan, and even a kiss with Dwight), and fake pregnancy/rape claims, Kelly would certainly give us plenty to write about if she got the job. In the meantime, tell us your favorite Kelly moments and what you think of her as a candidate.

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