Managers and supervisors will go to great lengths to avoid tough conversations with employees. Unfortunately, avoidance isn’t the best approach. So give your supervisors and managers scripts to follow, says Paul Falcone.
Falcone, a prolific writer on HR topics and a popular speaker, is VP, Employee Relations, at Time Warner Cable in Los Angeles. He is the author of SHRM best-selling 101 Tough Conversations to Have with Employees: A Manager’s Guide to Performance, Conduct, and Discipline Challenges.
Falcone offered additional tips for tough conversations in an earlier issue of the HR Daily Advisor.
Here’s how he recommends dealing with specific tricky situations:
Foul Language
Falcone’s suggests the following approach for an employee whose foul mouth has been tolerated up to this point:
“Shamus, you’re not hearing me. You’re on the offensive when you should be playing defense. This isn’t about you any longer—it’s about your co-workers and our company.
“When someone puts us on notice that they’re no longer comfortable with the curses, loose banter, and jokes, then in the eyes of the law, the whole company is placed on notice. At that point, we no longer have the discretion to laugh it off and ignore it.
“In fact, if we do, we could have a hostile work environment situation on our hands, and as you know, hostile work environment claims are a subset of sexual harassment, which in turn, falls under our company’s antidiscrimination policy.
“In short, we’re putting you on notice that the language and behavior have to stop immediately. If you feel you can’t accommodate our request, you may have to make an employment decision: In other words, if you can’t or won’t agree to this at this point, you’ll either have to resign or realize you’ll be terminated for cause should this occur again.”
Remember, says Falcone, that performance infractions and conduct violations are typically not treated the same: You have a lot more discretion to escalate the discipline process when a conduct issue is at hand.
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“Oh, and Shamus, there’s one more thing: I’m not saying this to scare you—it’s just that I want you to be fully educated on the matter. If the company were to be sued, you would also be named as an individual defendant in the lawsuit.
“In fact, in extreme cases where the company warns the employee and the employee refuses to change his ways, he may be considered to be acting outside the course and scope of his employment. And under those circumstances, the company’s legal team wouldn’t necessarily protect you. In short, you could be on your own to find your own lawyer and pay the damages that arise from the claim.
“Any time you find yourself slipping back into your old ways, be sure and stop by my office so that I can remind you about the risks you’re assuming when it comes to foul language in the workplace.”
Leering
Falcone relates a case in which a very short (4′ 2″) mailroom attendant was accused by a taller woman of “always talking to her breasts.” Here’s what Falcone said to him:
“Bill, there’s a difference between perception and reality: Reality is what you know to be true or what you do purposely; perception is what others see, regardless of your intentions. So even if you don’t realize it, you may be creating a perception that’s offending others.
“From this point forward, I want you to think of it this way: You have to hold yourself accountable for your own perception management; you have to become sensitive to how you’re coming across to others. When you speak with someone else, especially a woman, make sure you look at the person eye-to-eye, even if the person is much taller than you are.
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“Likewise, don’t stare at anyone’s chest under any circumstances—men or women—so that no one could accuse you of inappropriate behavior. Does that make sense?
“Finally, Bill, like I said, I have no reason to doubt your sincerity. However, I also have to take other peoples’ complaints seriously. As a result, I need a commitment from you right now that you’ll be very conscious of the perception you’re creating at all times and, more importantly, that after today we’ll never have to have a conversation like this again. Agreed?”
Falcone quipped, “If you think I make these things up, you don’t work in HR.”
In tomorrow’s Advisor, Falcone’s suggestions for terminating employees, and an introduction to an extraordinary HR solutions website.