In yesterday’s Advisor, Dennis A. Davis, Ph.D., talked about dealing with workplace conflict. Today, we’ll get his take on reacting to anger and violence, and we’ll get a look at a unique program for the small—even one-person—HR department.
Sometimes people think anger leads to violence, so they won’t let an angry person talk. But it’s not anger that leads to violence—it’s frustration, says Davis.
Davis is the director of client training for the national law firm of Ogletree, Deakins, Nash, Smoak & Stewart, P.C. His remarks came during a recent audio conference sponsored by BLR®.
Anger, Davis says, is emotion that results when we feel bad, hurt, or taken advantage of. Frustration is the emotion when we feel powerless. People who feel powerless make threats. Here are his tips for helping your supervisors and managers to deal with violence and anger:
If the Employee Says Something Violent
What should you do if you hear a statement such as, “If things don’t get right around here, someone’s going to blow this place up”? You have to respond to that right away, says Davis.
“Fred, I’m willing to hear what you have to say, and I want to deal with your issues and concerns. But I’m very concerned about what you just said because to me it sounds like a threat. Are you threatening violence, Fred?”
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“You have to ask that question,” says Davis, and pay careful attention to the response. People who are on the verge of violence will stand behind such a statement: “Well, you know, I understand how it could happen. I’m not saying any more.”
What about a person who recognizes that he or she just let go for a moment and knows that the remark was inappropriate? They will back away from the statement saying something like: “No, no, no. I’m not saying I would do anything like that.”
You definitely can’t show empathy toward an inappropriate statement, advises Davis.
What About Angry People?
An angry person typically doesn’t make threats. The voice increases in volume, but it often has a pleading quality—“I can’t believe you’re doing this; I don’t get the respect of a dog.” Allow the person to express that.
Often an employee just wants to be heard. You can respond, “I’m hearing you say that you don’t feel appreciated.” You’re simply acknowledging that you understand what he or she is saying, Davis says.
If you are part of what employees are complaining about, it’s easy to want to lash back at them. Resist that temptation, says Davis. The more they express themselves, the faster anger goes away. “Anger is self-extinguishing,” Davis says.
Anger management and conflict resolution are two of maybe a dozen challenges hitting your desk every day. And how about those intermittent leave headaches, accommodation requests, or attendance problems? Let’s face it, in HR, if it’s not one thing, it’s another. And in a small department, it’s just that much tougher.
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- Training guidelines. No matter the size of your company, expect to conduct training. Some of it is required by law; some of it is just good business sense. Managing an HR Department of One walks you through how to train efficiently and effectively with a minimum of time and money.
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