Racing to meet that work deadline, rushing across town to make it just in time for the big soccer game, and that important appointment still hasn’t been scheduled–it goes without saying that balancing the demands of being a working parent is difficult, and the toll on parents’ mental health is worsening.
The recent advisory from the U.S. Surgeon General on parental wellbeing provided a startling analysis of just how deep and widespread the mental health crisis is among parents. 41% of respondents stated they are so stressed day-to-day they can barely function, and 48% say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming. Loneliness and social isolation also remain a challenge–65% of parents and guardians report persistent feelings of isolation, with that number rising to 77% among single parents.
For HR teams, this advisory should serve as an important reminder of the work still to be done in supporting the parents within their organizations. Even as businesses place an increased emphasis on wellbeing initiatives, there remains an urgent need for proactive help. By integrating these four strategies into their offerings, organizations can reduce the daily pressures on parents, foster a more resilient workforce, and provide the support needed for everyone to thrive.
Build in Flexibility
Flexible work arrangements have become crucial for many employers as they work to attract and retain talent. But in the case of working parents, this flexibility isn’t just a luxury, but often a critical necessity. With the advisory highlighting that mothers have seen a 28% increase in work hours and fathers a 4% increase, allowing flexibility enables them to still care for the needs of their child without sacrificing their productivity or quality of work.
Of course, flexibility doesn’t look the same for every role or employer. If work-from-home or hybrid arrangements aren’t feasible, consider other ways you can build flexibility into schedules. Perhaps that means allowing parents to work non-traditional hours to accommodate childcare needs, or Friday afternoons off in the summer. Even modest adjustments at your organization can go a long way in demonstrating employer support for parents.
Encourage Leading by Example
The challenges of being a working parent resonate across all levels of the organization, from entry-level employees to executives and C-Suite leaders, who must balance the demands of childcare with the responsibilities of running a business. Leaders who are willing to be open about their own challenges balancing family and work demands can set the tone for an organization, modeling for others that “the struggle is real” and there is no need to try to get by in silence. And leaders who advocate for and implement policies and procedures that reflect support for working parents also defuse a hidden but corrosive “morale killer” common in many workplaces–namely, the belief that leaders are out of touch with line workers and would ask you to sacrifice your child’s welfare in pursuit of profit. By encouraging and supporting transparency, it demonstrates that your organization understands the realities of being a working parent and can build a feeling of belonging among your employees. It also adds a layer of authenticity to your organization and your wellbeing program, while increasing retention and loyalty.
Create a Culture of Connection
Beyond the realities of day-to-day job stress in some of the most demanding professions–including healthcare, legal, and first responders–is an underlying sense of competition. This can be a positive in pushing employees to strive to be their best, but it can also lead to a culture of comparison for many parents. When employees see a co-worker thriving in the workplace and seemingly achieving parental perfection, it can make them feel inadequate. These feelings are only exacerbated by social media, which often skips over or overlooks the day-to-day challenges of parenting and paints an incomplete, often unrealistic picture.
Fortunately, the workplace can provide a valuable outlet for these parents, allowing them to build meaningful connections with parents in similar roles looking for support. By intentionally integrating parenting support into wellness and EAP initiatives, employers can promote education, resources, and discussion. This may even include community-building activities like a Parenting Listening Circle to enhance connection via a Facilitated Discussion designed for employees who are caregivers to children. This opens the dialogue at your organization and allows authentic connections to form across your workplace.
Evaluate Your Benefits Offerings
Even the most well-intentioned benefits package may create complex dilemmas for working parents. Consider the accumulation of paid time off as an example–while this is a cornerstone of a typical benefits package, it can often create a difficult dilemma where every alternative has a negative consequence. An employee may worry that using their PTO to attend to family needs indicates a lack of focus or divided loyalties to their employer. Or, if their child’s needs require periodic absences, they may fear judgment from their fellow co-workers.
Employers can go a long way toward signaling support for working parents with the introduction of a specific bank of PTO hours as “Family Care,” which can include elder care needs as well as children. This is much more than a re-allocation of PTO hours–it sends a strong message of support from employers and a clear acknowledgment of the realities parents face. This showcases compassion and caring from an organization, in turn making them an employer of choice. It’s a true win/win for all involved.
Being a working parent is never going to be easy, but HR teams that implement policies and procedures that simply acknowledge the challenges faced by today’s parents goes a long way toward creating a psychologically healthy workplace and tempering one source of potential stress. By providing the right mix of support and resources, employers can leverage the natural connections that are formed in the workplace, encouraging the employee’s “work family” to be a key partner in managing their home family.
Jeff Gorter, MSW, LCSW, is VP of crisis response services at R3 Continuum. Mr. Gorter brings more than 30 years of clinical experience including consultation and extensive on-site critical incident response to businesses and communities. He has responded directly to the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, Hurricane Katrina, the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, the earthquake/tsunami in Japan, the Newtown tragedy, the Orlando Pulse Nightclub shooting, the Las Vegas Route 91 Music Festival shooting, the breach of the U.S. Capitol on 1/6/21, and the wildfires in Maui in 2024.