With five generations in the workplace, it’s no surprise if you have co-workers whose views differ from yours. Tension may not only build due to these conflicting views, but also the polarized nature of today’s politics. As a result, you might feel compelled to suppress your own beliefs to keep the peace or – on the other hand – compelled to confront others in emotionally charged situations to stand up for what you think is right. Ultimately, either way, this is no fun.
For this week’s HR Query, Jocelyn Moyet, a licensed mental health counselor at Grow Therapy, shares six tips for dealing with this tricky situation.
Here’s what she had to say.
1. Set boundaries ahead of time.
JM: In a perfect world, you can stop conflict before it starts. Ideally, it’s helpful to set boundaries ahead of time. For example, all may agree not to talk politics during work and/or at gatherings. This could look like sending out a group text or speaking individually to the people who tend to instigate and stir the pot. They may not always be receptive, but it’s worth trying.
2. Know where to draw the line.
JM: If the plan to set boundaries ahead of time doesn’t work out and political debates break out, it’s important to practice your boundary-setting skills. Sometimes, even with people who are incredible communicators, conversations can still become hostile or heated with people who have very extreme beliefs. In these situations, we have no control over how the other person will act or speak to us. To maintain our own emotional and sometimes physical safety, we may set boundaries. Setting boundaries involves informing others how you will respond to certain actions and where you draw the line to speak. For example, you may tell others that you intend to leave the event if political topics arise.
3. Know that changing their mind is not your responsibility.
JM: As much as you’d probably like to sway others over to your side or even just get them to see things from your point of view, this is not your responsibility. In heated debates, people are typically not coming from a place of wanting to be open-minded or understanding. More likely, they’re just trying to get their opinion out – and chances are, your voice is probably not going to overpower their deep-seated beliefs and all the media they ingest. You are not in charge of having to teach them or get them to come to a different side. Protect your peace. Ask yourself, is it worth your energy?
4. Remember that it’s okay to leave if you need to.
JM: Once again, boundaries. If you are feeling super triggered, upset, or angry, pulling yourself out of this situation is okay. Needing to leave an uncomfortable and potentially unsafe situation is not a moral failing or indicative of you being a bad person or coworker. It is completely valid and reasonable to leave a situation if you need to.
5. Step away and self-regulate.
JM: If you’ve decided your best move is to remove yourself from the situation, use this time to self-regulate and calm down healthily. Go for a walk, have a drink of water, listen to calming music, do some deep breathing or call up a safe person.
6. Seek therapy for extra support.
JM: Mental health support during the election year, therapy is a great option. It can teach you the tools you need to navigate emotionally fraught situations such as this.